This week I’m talking about grief. Its a topic that not a lot of people like to discuss.
Grief is when we’re in a state of deep sadness, sorrow, or trouble. Whenever we experience grief, it’s something that can feel completely life changing. Nothing else matters and our entire bodies are so focused on this emotion or moment, we negate everything that might be going on around us. It’s one of the most powerful emotions and experiences that we’ll ever encounter in our lives.
It’s also the thing that we never ever want to go through.
We all experience grief.
Just like we experience good days and bad days, we have days of joy and grief. The thing about grief is we can experience it in so many different ways. Often times when we say grief or a person is grieving, we automatically think about a loved one who has passed away. But grief can some in many different forms. It could be a loved one passing (human or animal), not getting that job you wanted, the end of a friendship or a relationship, an injury or accident, or getting into financial troubles.
Regardless of what form grief comes out way when it hits us, we feel it in our core. When grief enters our lives, our bodies don’t really prepare for the pain that follows. Even if you try to mentally prepare yourself for it, the impact will still hit you hard. This is an experience we all MUST go through.
I know this might sound insane when I say we all must go through this, but it’s true. Even though we never want to have that deep sadness, it’s a necessary emotion and experience for us to have.
Grief is important.
When we’re in a state of grief, we shed our ego and the walls we’ve put up. It’s the only emotion that can break us down and reveal our vulnerability. Even though its we are in such a state of sadness, it allows us to open up to love.
Rumi describes our state of grief as “the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom.”
When we are in the process of grief, we’re in a state of evolution. It’s a life lesson that requires us to evolve more as human beings, as leaders, and as loved ones. Often times when we see of experience grief, we turn away from the outside world for fear of them seeing our vulnerability. Especially when it comes to men of people who have masculine energy.
W’;re taught that showing our feelings when we are suffering isn’t “macho”, cool, or wise. But when we resort to that mindset, we don’t see one of the great lessons that is always there in front of our face. The essence of what life is about and what we’ve forgotten while living our day to day:
You are not alone.
We can learn from our grief.
Just like we can learn from bad days, we can learn from the days that we are grieving. Even when we’re in a state of deep sadness, there’s always beauty and lessons surrounding us. We can get into the notion that once we’re in a state of grief, we need to rush the healing process so that we can get back to our day to day. This method is not only untrue but very harmful.
It is your right as a human and spiritual being to feel grief and to be vulnerable. Regardless if you are feminine or masculine, there is no shame when we’re in this state because you are not alone. We ALL feel this or experience this. Don’t rush the process but instead, learn from it.
Grief gives us a new perspective on life and puts us in a state of gratitude for the things that we do have, no matter how small they are. And once we’ve gone through the journey, it allows us to be more open and sympathetic to the people around us. When we see them going through their journey of grief, we can be there for them in that state because we KNOW how they feel.
We know what they are going through and we can be right next to them reminding them of the lesson: You are not alone.
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Til next time,
Photo by Aliyah Jamous on Unsplash