Today is the last month of 2019. The end of a decade.
This is the first decade where I can reflect on everything that I’ve experienced. Usually I never like to look at the past. I’m a firm believer that one should always look forward and if you ever need to look back it’s to learn and then keep going. But this week was different.
One of my awesome mentors, Marie Forleo, created a Decade in Review method for her students. If you don’t know who Marie Forleo is I suggest you look her up because she’s sensational. She’s made a huge impact in my life and I’ve been fortunate enough to learn from her for several years. The Decade in Review method she created is exactly how is sounds: look back and take note of all the things you’ve done.
Write down all the good, the bad, and everything in between over the past ten years.
Look at what you’ve accomplished and what you’ve learned. If you’re interested in doing this, click on this link and get more information on how begin the Decade in Review method.
While sipping my morning coffee, I opened a document on my laptop and began typing. At first I saw all the things I’ve accomplished, the people I’ve met, and the experiences I created with loved ones. I was surprised! After writing down my list and seeing everything laid out, I felt proud. I’d done things that I always dreamed of doing since I was a child like traveling, relocate to new places, meet interesting people, and tried things that scared me.
Then I dug deeper. While writing about the lessons I’ve learned, I noticed a pattern that I was repeating without my knowledge. I realized that for the majority of my 20’s, I was focused on external validation. The focus on striving to be the best made me see that I wasn’t living for me. Instead, I was focused on what others wanted me to be.
My focus was on how I looked on the outside so that people would think I was important. While staring at that document, it dawned on me that I’d never taken the time to look in the mirror and ask myself :
Is this what YOU want?
At first I became angry with myself. I was upset at all that time I wasted worrying about other peoples opinions. I’m suppose to be living my life not theirs! But then I stopped because I knew deep down it wasn’t really my fault. I was taught at a very young age that in order for me to live in society, I had to please the masses. And I realized we’re ALL taught this lesson.
From our parents to our teachers, we’re taught to always follow the crowd.
That you shouldn’t follow your own path because that was too dangerous. If you follow the crowd then everything will be great and easy. But life isn’t always great and easy. Life isn’t suppose to be always great and easy. It’s messy, unpredictable, and flawed. We strive to be great but if it’s dependent on how other people think, then we’re not really living. This was the aha moment that I needed. The chance to finally deprogram my mind and choose a different path.
Make sure this next decade, and onward, is for you.
Look around and take a look at where you are. Is it where you want to be? Or did someone influence you to be there because it was the “right” thing to do? Are you closer to your passion or to that one thing you always dreamed of doing? Or did fear get the best of you so you decided to play it safe?
I’m not talking about quitting your job or selling all of your possessions. I’m talking about developing the awareness that you have a choice. You can choose to live the life you want, the life you dreamed, by just taking one step at a time. You can choose to do the things that YOU want to do regardless of what other people think or say. This is your time and your life so why not make the most of it.
What’s will your next decade look like?
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Til next time homies,
Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash