We’ve all heard the saying: New year, new resolutions.

It’s the new year new me movement where we get started on the things we want to improve. On the 31st we’re out celebration and partying – and wake up on the 1st to get started on our goals.

While I spent my New Years’ Eve at home reading, I stumble upon a post created by Elizabeth Gilbert who I absolutely adore. I know I might butcher majority of this but she said something about resolutions that just radiated brilliance to me:

“You don’t have to have a new years’ resolutions, you don’t need to create a strategy for the next year, you simply need to exist. You are not required to justified your existence be constant improvement. You just get to be here.”

I was stunned because in my exclusive newsletter I sent a few days ago, I had spoken about this exact same concept.

Screw making resolutions.

Statistically speaking, most of the resolution people make fall by the wayside by February. Why? Because 90% of the resolutions are mostly based on fear.

Think about it: one of the main reasons why the resolution movement came to force us to become better then what we were before. One example is weight-loss. Most people aim to go to the gym consistently to lose weight not because they enjoy doing it, but because they hate the way they look, fear that they’ll be fat forever, and won’t be loved.

The resolution train has been designed to create this idea that you’re not good enough so you need to constantly improve.

Now I’m not saying that we’re all perfect beings and we shouldn’t strive to be better humans. Instead, I’m saying we should re-frame the new years’ resolution idea into something better. We need to redefine it and make it into something that you know will last. So instead of creating resolutions out of fear…

Focus on what brings you joy.

What do you love doing that makes you feel alive?

Joy is the best motivator there is. Joy is what will keep you going and will make you want to stay consistent. If you do something out of fear, there’s no motivation behind it which means you already lost. We don’t want to do things that make us afraid, we want to do things that make us feel like we’re living.

Can fear act as a good motivator? To some extent, yes but it won’t last for very long. Not as long as joy. In reality, joy is the fuel that will keep you coming back for more.

Take some time and think about what brings you joy not because it’s what you think you’re supposed to do. Not because you think it makes you look cool. And not because it’ll help you gain a bunch of social media followers. I’m talking about the things that truly bring you joy regardless of external validation.

This can seem daunting because we might not know what exactly brings us joy. How do we figure that out? The answer is simple.

Live in the present.

Look at the things that you do in the present moment, in the here and now, and see what excites you.

Is it reading that book you love? Is it writing? Is it drawing? Is it going for that run where you can clear your mind? Is it meeting up with friends at a local coffee shop? Is it helping someone in need? Is it hiking? Is it baking a cake? Or is it simply making time to be present with family?

Simply jot down the things out of your day that brings you joy. And once you do that – boom there’s your list. Now all you have to do…is do more of those things!

It doesn’t matter how silly you think your list of joy is because it’s your list. These are the things that you love to do so why not do more of them? Don’t judge your list or think that you don’t have time to do the things on there. Remember that you are not required to justify your existence by constant improvement. You just get to be here. So why not do the things that bring you joy?

The happier you are the better your life will be.

Did you like this post? Leave a comment below and start the conversation. Also if you like this post, make sure you share it with friends and family.

Until next time homies,

kim delarosa

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

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